The modern toast to the bride comes from a very old tradition. Wine and other alcoholic drinks have been used for celebrations since ancient times. Wine was associated with vitality, health and fertility. The first toasts likely occurred in very ancient times but the first recorded toast happened in 450 AD at a feast in England.
Loud noises were believed to keep evil spirits away and the clinking of glasses helped to raise the noise level.
In early times the toast was part of the process of proving that the food and drink wasn’t poisoned when competing groups assembled. The host would drink and eat from the common food before serving the guests so they would know it was safe.
The term “toast” is derived from a popular practice of dunking toasted bread in wine to flavor it. The flavored wine would be shared by all the assembled guests.
The wedding toast to the bride and others at the wedding certainly derives from the same traditions of partying and welcoming guests as other toasting. As the tradition of toasting became more popular it also became more formalized with a strict order to the toasts. Today couples often hire a Master of Ceremonies to see that the toasts and speeches happen in a good order and no one gets left out that has something they want to say.
In the most common tradition the best man starts the speeches and finishes with a toast to the bride and groom. The actual toast is preceded by a speech where the guests and welcomed and thanked and the couple is praised and flattered. The actual toast consists of a wish for the wellbeing of the couple and asking the assembled guests to join in the wish by drinking. Everyone raises their glass toward the couple before clinking their glass with a neighbor and drinking.
After the best man speaks the groom is expected to give a speech thanking the guests for coming, saying something flattering about his family, his new in-laws and of course a declaration is his undying love for the bride.
Typically the bride speaks next followed by the maid of honor. The last speech and toast is often given by the father of the bride as he is nominally the host of the party. In some traditions the father of the bride is the first to speak.
Today’s nontraditional weddings often completely change the traditional order of speeches and toasting. While it is fun to follow tradition the fact is the wedding is for the couple and the guests assembled so whatever works best for everyone concerned is fine.
Giving a good wedding speech and toast to the bride is not easy and anyone needing to come up with a speech should put some effort into doing a good job. Many free and low-cost resources are available for learning the right way to toast to the bride.
About the Author
Andrew X Jones. Looking for more information on giving a great toast to the bride? Visit this blog, toasttothebride.org, where an experienced wedding planner outlines how to create and give a memorable wedding toast to the bride.
