Let’s take your general overall disposition. If you radiate sunshine and happiness, others will desire to bask in that sunshine. If you are a negative sour grapes personality it will show through like polka dot underwear under cheesecloth.
Your physical appearance will not play as important a part as your inner personality. How you take care of yourself will reflect in your confidence about yourself and will show through as part of your inner glow. We will not go into improving your inner glow here, but merely mention it as number one, and the one most newly-singled need to "get-together".
Number two is availability. If you are seen constantly with someone at groups. etc., it will be assumed you are unavailable, and Mr. or Ms. Right will tune you out.
If you are uptight or AFRAID of relationships, closeness or rejection, that will come through too. So we need to be in a position where we are truly available and open to new relationships on a no hang up basis.
Many newly singled take months or years to work through self-imposed fears and restrictions to be truly available for a big relationship.
Third is chemistry or physical attraction. We can learn to improve our physical posture, appearance and overall aura. Many times we dress the wrong way for the type of person we are interested in.
Fourth is your maturity level or emotional age. Are you still a little kid emotionally? Do you turn green if your date talks to someone else you consider a competitor? Do you insist on "owning" or clinging to whoever you date? Do you get up tight over little things?
You may need to grow up emotionally in a short time as a single person.
Many newly singled are not considered dating prospects by well-adjusted emotionally mature singles because they still have too many issues and restrictions on dating and relationships.
As far as age is concerned it is not as much of a factor as most figure it is. Their dating limitations as far as age is concerned are mostly self-imposed. Your outlook on age in dating is often tied in with your emotional maturity (age).
Attitudes and disposition have an effect and if you have an over-all fizz and sparkle your chronological age will be of little importance.
We maybe should have had one more classification or one in place of age called energy level.
If your energy level is only up to sitting around watching the boob tube, you’re not going to be a prospect for someone bubbling with energy and ready to get out and do things who is ten years older than you are.
Intelligence sometimes is confused with education. Many people with degrees needed them to make up for a lack of intelligence.
Education level or attained degrees may have some validity as a preliminary judgment on intelligence compatibility. As a rule you would be happiest or most comfortable with someone that has a similar I.Q. level or at least somewhere near.
You might find it wise to be at least well informed on what is going on in the world if you at least want to be conversationally compatible with bright, well-informed singles. Going back to school is a good ego patch for newly singled.
Recap:
- Learn to be a happy single.
- Be ready and open to new relationships.
- Improve the packaging.
- Grow up emotionally.
- Energy level and attitude are more important than calendar.
- Keep up with the world intellectually; don’t stagnate.
Concentrate your time and energy on improving you – become someone super; then someone super will likely find you.
About the Author
Harlan Jacobsen has been writing numerous articles and series on successful single life for 32 years that appear on the Internet and singles newspapers. For more articles on single life by Harlan, subscribe to some of his many free singles newsletters here and visit his Dating Again 101 and Divorce Recovery 101 .
