The first thing you need to look at above and beyond all else is the cheater’s character. Do they have a history of cheating on their partners? Do they have a history of cheating on you? Are they too self-centered to deny themselves whatever pleasures come along? Are they well meaning but weak? Unless someone’s incredibly ugly, they’re going to face temptation some time during their life. Saying no is all about having backbone, willpower, self-discipline, and the ability to truly care about another person’s feelings. Does your partner have all of those traits? If not, then forget it. Move on.

Let’s assume for whatever reason that you have decided that yes your partner has the ability to be faithful and this was a one time indiscretion. You now need to look at why they did what they did. Motivation is more important than the act itself. If you know why they cheated, then it’s possible to avoid having the same triggers repeated. Were you emotionally and physically distant for so long that you may as well have pushed them into finding love elsewhere? We are a love hungry species. Our spirits die when we do not feel loved. The body will follow. You’ve heard of the old couples who die within a short time of each other. You’ve also seen the studies they’ve done with the baby monkeys who don’t thrive and grow without their mamas. It’s the way of us to seek love. That’s our supreme motivator. So look at what caused the infidelity. If you can honestly say that yes you were completely loving and supportive and they cheated anyway, then you may want to consider walking away from them. If they give you some other reason that makes absolute sense to you and you can truly see it as a forgivable reason, then so be it. Forgive them. If they don’t have a reason that makes sense to you, then don’t forgive them.

The next thing to evaluate is what is at stake. What kind of a life have you built together and what does it mean to you? Do you have children together? A long marriage? A business and material wealth? What if you don’t think you can trust them and yet you will lose everything that you do love by leaving them? That’s something that only you can answer. Is the money, the marriage, the children worth a lifetime of being cheated on? You decide. Maybe it’s a marriage of convenience anyway and you really don’t care where they sleep. Then it’s going to be much easier to forgive them then if they are your one true love and your emotional health is at risk by having your heart shattered.

As you know, there are plenty of reasons to choose not to forgive and forget. But what if you have created a long beautiful life together and your partner is a wonderful parent to your children? What if you feel just as much to blame for the infidelity because you had pushed them away for too long. What if they had made an honest effort to work things out with you but you just kept pushing them away? What then? Just because you want to forgive them doesn’t mean that you can forgive them. How do you forgive and forget? The bible may tell us to turn the other cheek, but how? How do you do it? There’s a big difference between saying, "I forgive you" on a generic spiritual level and saying, "I forgive you" on a personal heart to heart level. The key to real forgiveness must involve trust. At some level you have to really believe in your heart of hearts that you can trust this person to never ever repeat such a painful choice again. If you don’t really believe that, then you aren’t really going to forgive them and the underlying resentment will eat away at whatever is left of the foundation of your relationship.

I believe that the most important barometer of how easy or hard it is to forgive is how they behave after the event. Do they browbeat you with comments like, "Look I said I’m sorry. Get over it already." Or are they beating themselves up for having caused you this pain? Are they offering to jump through hoops to prove to you that they have learned a horrible lesson and will make damn sure it never happens again? The intensity of their apology and their willingness to allow you to feel the pain of it will have a direct impact on your ability to heal from the infidelity and on their ability to rebuild trust in your eyes. If they demand that you simply trust them on their word and they have done nothing to show you that they are taking full responsibility for the broken trust, then leave them. It’s not your fault that they broke the trust even if you were not emotionally available to them, the breach of trust was done on their part. You can’t force yourself to trust someone again. Just like when our teenagers lie to us and have to earn back our trust, it’s no different between adults whether the trust was broken in a marriage or a business relationship. It’s their job to recreate that. They need to find their own way back.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge

About the Author

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow’s Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. Her books and articles have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. To read more of her articles, sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, and get free previews of her books go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net.
Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net

1. Walk. Run, if you are fit enough to run. Work out. Get the blood flowing. Physical exercise drains off the adrenaline and physically you feel better. You also think better of yourself because you are caring for you.

2. Talk. If you typically handle problems by talking them out, find someone who will listen as you pour out your heart. Give them explicit instructions: "I need to talk, vent, cry, rage, and question. Just look me in the eye, nod your head and listen."

3. Write. Get a kitchen timer. Set it for 5 minutes. Spend that time writing…anything, everything that comes to your mind. Don’t censor. When the bell goes off say to yourself, "OK, there it is. Now I need to get on to other things. I will come back later and write more." Put the writing in a safe place or destroy it.

4. Find a safe place and spend some time there. Do you have a favorite lake, wooded area, park, room, chair where you feel safe and can "get away." Intentionally spend some time there.

5. Use good "self talk." Tell yourself, "You are ok. You will be ok. This too shall pass. What you are feeling is normal and will not destroy you." Develop that "observing part" that can speak to your turmoil.

6. Pray. Meditate. Use your spiritual resources, if you have them. If you don’t have them, it can be a good time to develop them. Spirituality often affirms your worth and enables you to see the larger picture.

7. Be aware. Notice what you are thinking, how you are feeling and what you are doing. Pay close attention to these chunks of your life. Just noticing often creates distance from the emotional pain.

8. Encourage the rhythm of your feelings. Your feelings will come and go, often as in waves. There will be lulls and sometimes they crash. Notice the intensity and frequency of the waves.

9. Get professional help. Supportive therapy might be helpful. Personal and professional coaching, often via telephone, is a helpful phenomenon that is increasingly popular as a way to find support and direction for specific problems.

10. Gather resources. Start reading, exploring the internet and talking to people about your situation. Believe me, you are not alone. Many people have walked your path (well, not exactly your path, but close) and are there to offer their understanding and point out the bends and turns of your road.

About the Author

Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com.

Several weeks later, at her health club, Beverley saw a woman wearing a bracelet exactly like the one she’d seen in the box. After making some discreet inquiries, and finding several telltale signs to corroborate her suspicions, Beverley learned that her husband and this woman were having an affair.

A cheating husband can often be exposed by the gifts he gives or receives. The wife who knows what to look for and where to look can usually find tangible evidence of her husband’s infidelity.

Laura found a gift box containing a sexy negligee in the trunk of her husband’s car. He then tried to convince Laura the salesclerk had mistakenly put the wrong size in the box. Since Laura had already found other telltale signs of a possible affair, his excuses fell on deaf ears.

The exchange of gifts between lovers can be your cheating husband’s undoing. It can confirm your suspicions and provide you with proof that your husband is having an affair.

While going through her husband’s pockets before dropping off his clothes at the cleaners, Susan discovered a jewelry store receipt for 2 identical pairs of earrings. Her husband had given her a pair of gold earrings for her birthday last week. But who had he given the other pair?

Whether your husband pays for his lover’s gifts by cash, check, or credit card, there will usually be a paper trail. The type of gift or the amount of money it cost can also indicate an extramarital affair. If you suspect your husband of infidelity, be alert for the following gift-related telltale signs:

• Suspicious withdrawals from checking or savings accounts
• Unusual or unexplained ATM withdrawals.
• Credit card bills with unusual charges made at jewelry stores, boutiques, or women’s specialty stores.
• Receipts for gift items that you didn’t personally receive.
• Receipts or charge slips for two identical gift items.
• Hidden gifts obviously intended for someone other than you – too large or small for you, a color or style he knows you’d never wear, gifts with another woman’s name attached.
• Giving gifts of an extremely personal nature to or from another woman.
• Receiving gifts of a personal nature from another woman
• Giving a disproportionately expensive gift to a woman who is supposedly a casual friend or business acquaintance.
• Receiving a very expensive gift from any female other than yourself or a family member.

Gifts are just one of the 21 categories of telltale signs which can expose a cheating husband. (visit http://www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com to see a detailed list with descriptions of the 21 categories of telltale signs) "Is He Cheating On You? – 829 Telltale Signs" lists dozens of other cheating signs. To find them, all you need are your eyes and ears, your personal knowledge of your husband, and the information contained in the book.

If your husband is giving gifts to other women and receiving gifts in return, your marriage could be in serious jeopardy — especially if you find other telltale signs. The future of your marriage may depend on your ability to recognize the signs of infidelity in time.

© Ruth Houston All rights reserved.

NOTE: The information in this article is condensed from a longer article which appears at www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com

About the Author

Ruth Houston is the author of "Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs." For more information about the book or to sign up for the free Infidelity Newsletter visit http://www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com or send an e-mail to CheatingSigns@aol.com.
RuthHouston@att.net

The sharing of personal information with strangers online is thrown around loosely all over the Internet. And this new craze is at its peak with married women and men sharing their personal and intimate details with the opposite sex, on chat boards, personal spaces, porn sites, message boards, and forums that anyone can become a member in.

Emotional infidelity is just kind way of saying, "online dating". Is your spouse dating someone online? How would you know? Is online dating a smart thing to do? Some people believe there is no harm in it since it doesn’t actually involve having sex with the person. Online dating has been played down by society just like the commitment and promise of marriage has.

Emotional infidelity is disloyalty to ones spouse in a different way other than in a sexual way, that’s all. Sex isn’t everything in a marriage, right? Intimacy plays a big part in marriage, doesn’t it? How would you feel if your wife were getting intimate with another man online, would you like it? What if your husband were divulging his personal feelings and sexual needs to another woman would you like it? This is online dating.

I think it is very detrimental to both husband and wife in the marriage. Not only can a simple chat get carried away and turn into sex eventually, but the wrongdoer is ultimately breaking the bonds of trust with their spouse by revealing personal and sacred information about himself that ultimately belongs within the marriage!

Emotional unfaithfulness can hurt just as deeply as physical unfaithfulness, and sometimes, even more. There is definitely something wrong in the marriage when one or both spouses are going outside of the marriage for love and acceptance. This is what all infidelity between couples is all about. It’s about the need for acceptance.

When we are not getting our emotional needs met in the marriage, we seek it from someone who will give it to us. We want to feel good about who we are. We want to be loved and acknowledged for who we are. We want validated and needed. We want to be told that we are good people. If those needs aren’t getting met through the person we married, what do we do? Where do we turn? We go online and find someone who will give all of those needs to us.

It is like an alcoholic who craves a drink. He’ll do just about anything to get that drink, hurting others in the process. Eventually, he’ll get that drink and he’ll drink it down and like it so much, he’ll want more.

Married couples are literally craving attention, emotionally, spiritually and mentally, and there are plenty of strangers who will fulfill those needs right online. We can even make them give us all the attention we think we deserve by lying to them. We can tell them how rotten and mean our spouse is, so they will feel sorry for us. We can even tell them we are divorced when really we’re still married.

Online dating is not good for marriage. It is not good for a single young woman looking for a man. And it is not good for the teenage girl looking for acceptance and love. Anything can be said and anything can be believed. How sad. Emotional infidelity is just as harmful as physical infidelity. I suggest that if you are involved with someone emotionally to cut it off before it gets out of hand and leads to something more detrimental to the sanctity of your marriage.

Talk to your spouse. Tell your spouse what you need and want. Tell them you want to be respected and loved for who you are. Don’t be afraid to express your true feelings to your spouse. They need and want this from you. You will be pleasantly surprised how understanding and tolerable they will be when they see that you love them enough to share your feelings with them

Go to your wife! Express yourself positively and productively. It doesn’t matter what you tell her, it matters how you tell her. Give your wife that piece of your heart that really tells her how much you trust her, need her and want her.

Go to your husband! Share your inner most feelings with him and tell him you need his loving devotion and attention. Get intimate with your husband by sharing your heart and mind with him. What can this do for you? It frees your mind of wasted clutter that needs to come out into the open. Communicate your wants, desires and needs with your spouse. It will make you feel closer because you shared an intimate piece of yourself with them.

About the Author

Angie Lewis is the author of two marriage books. Journey on the Roads Less Traveled is a book about love, life, addiction and marriage. Love The Man You Married is an informative and biblically centered book tackling such issues as adultery and learning to completely forgive your spouse.

For more information on these books, visit Angie’s marriage ministry at http://www.heavenministries.com and while you’re there, sign up for the monthly marriage newsletter.

It’s only natural for lovers to want to buy gifts for each other like everyone else during the holiday season. But this exchange of gifts could prove to be a cheating husband’s undoing.

An observant wife can find some important clues if she knows what to look for.

Gifts cost money. No man who’s cheating on his wife is going to give his lover a cheap token of his affection. If he doesn’t want to incur her wrath, he has to buy her a decent gift. Unless he’s been squirreling away small sums over a period of weeks of months, the money has to come from somewhere. Have there been any suspicious withdrawals from your checking or savings accounts? Check the time period shortly before, during, or after the holiday season. Have there been any sizeable, unexplained ATM withdrawals during this time?

What about credit card statements for the same period of time? Has he made any unusual charges at jewelry stores, boutiques or women’s specialty stores? What about actual store receipts? If you find records of purchases made for gift items that you didn’t personally receive, that should raise a red flag in your mind. Who did he give these gifts to, if not to you?

Look around your home for hidden gifts – underneath the bed, in the back of a drawer, on the floor at the back of the closet, the back of a little used shelf. Don’t forget to check the car, as well. – under the seat, in the glove compartment, the trunk, the tire well. If you find a hidden gift, don’t automatically jump to conclusions unless it’s obvious that the gift was not intended for you (too large, too small, a color or style that he knows you wouldn’t wear, or has another woman’s name attached) But if New Year’s Day rolls around and you still haven’t received the gift, then obviously it was given to someone else. Make it your business to find out who.

Beverley was ecstatic when she found a box containing a hand crafted, one of a kind gold bracelet she’d been admiring for some time. However, Christmas came and went, the box disappeared, but Beverley never received the bracelet. A few weeks later, at her health club, Beverley noticed a woman wearing a bracelet identical to the one in the box. After some discreet checking around, and finding several other clues to corroborate her suspicions, Beverly found out her husband and this woman were having an affair.

Laura found a box containing a sexy satin negligee in the trunk of her husband Paul’s car. He tried to pass it off as a gift he’s bought for her, but upon closer examination she saw that it was 5 sizes too small. Paul tried in vain to convince Laura that the salesclerk had mistakenly put the wrong size in the box. But since she’d previously found other telltale signs of an affair, his excuses fell on deaf ears.

Warning bells should go off if your husband gives or receives a gift of an extremely personal nature. No woman other than yourself should be giving your husband ½ dozen pairs of silk boxer shorts for Christmas — unless it’s his mother or his sister (and even then you should check to make sure.)

Also be wary if your husband gives or receives a disproportionately extravagant gift to or from any woman who is supposedly a casual friend or business acquaintance. Any unusually expensive gifts that suddenly appear in his possession during the holidays should be regarded at with suspicion. Especially if he tries to pass them off as things he purchased for himself, but can’t produce any receipts.

If you’ve found other warning signs of infidelity during the previous weeks or months, the Christmas gifts could be the missing pieces of the infidelity puzzle. Sit down and have a serious talk with your husband. Your marriage may be in jeopardy. Find out what’s going on before it’s too late.

© 2003

About the Author

Ruth Houston is the author of "Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs." For more information about the book or to sign up for her f*r*e*e Infidelity Newsletter visit http://www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com or e-mail to CheatingSigns@aol.com
RuthHouston@att.net

Your husband is cheating. You’re not sure what to do. Before wrestling with that decision, let’s focus first on what you SHOULDN’T do. Most women react blindly when they find out their husbands are having an affair. They let fear, anger, hurt, or a desire for revenge compel them to do things they later regret — things which make it difficult or impossible to implement any worthwhile infidelity advice they may later receive.

This article will keep you from making a mistake that could sabotage the course of action you eventually decide to take. Regardless of whether you decide to leave your husband or stay with him and try to work things out, doing the wrong thing at the outset can make a bad situation worse. Let’s look at 5 key things you SHOULDN’T do and examine the reasons why.

1. Don’t put him out or leave him — yet.

Instead of your first move, putting your husband out or leaving him should be your last resort. You may eventually decide to do this, but for now, it’s the worst thing you can do. Right now you need to keep a close eye on what’s going on. It’ll be easier to do that if the two of you are still living under the same roof. If you put him out or leave, you’ll be hard-pressed to know what he’s doing, short of hiring an investigator. As long as you’re still together, you can keep your finger on the pulse of his affair and gather some much-needed facts. There’s a lot you need to know about the situation before you can make an intelligent decision about what to do. Continue monitoring your husband’s activities, attitude, the frequency of his contact with his lover and any other details concerning his affair. Write everything down in a journal for future use. Also bear in mind that as long as he’s still there, you have a chance to work things out.

2. Don’t tell the whole world about his infidelity.

It’s natural to want to confide in somebody about your husband’s affair, or rally friends and family to your side. But be very cautious about who you tell. The female friend you confide in could turn out to be the "other woman." Make sure you’re confiding in someone you know you can trust. Confiding in a male friend about your husband’s affair could complicate the situation. There are men out there who take advantage of women when they’re in a vulnerable state. Telling your husband’s friends or family may not produce the results you want. They might not take you seriously, or they may lie, make excuses for him, take his side, or warn him to cover his tracks. Confiding in your own family and friends can eventually come back to haunt you. Elephants aren’t the only ones who never forget. Some people have a tendency to remember unpleasant events long after they’ve been resolved. If you and your husband decide to reconcile, they could make things difficult by harboring anger and hostility toward him for what he did to you. Or they may show resentment toward you for taking him back. Exercise caution in who you tell about your husband’s affair.

3. Don’t ignore his affair or pretend it’s not happening.

Going into denial will only make matters worse. As traumatic as it is to find out that your husband has been cheating, you need to face the reality of the situation. Ignoring his infidelity gives him the go-ahead to continue his affair. Pretending it’s not happening will make him think he’s getting away with his cheating, or give him the impression that he has your silent approval. At some point you should inform your husband that you know about his affair and make it clear that you want it to stop. The sooner you confront him about his cheating, the better. The longer you wait to bring it up and express your disapproval, the more attached he will become to the other woman. And the harder it will be to get your marriage back on track. Remember too, that affairs thrive in secrecy. Sometimes, just telling your husband you know about it, will be enough to put a stop to his affair.

4. Don’t confront him without the 3 P’s – Proof, a Plan, and a Purpose.

Most experts agree that you should confront your husband about his cheating. But you need to have a plan. Choose the time and place carefully so you can discuss the affair at length without interruption. DO NOT ask your husband if he’s cheating. CHEATERS ALWAYS LIE. Present the evidence you’ve gathered that proves he’s having an affair – names, dates, places, times, absences, phone calls, physical evidence, etc. Then ask him some pointed questions about his affair: why he did it, how it started, how long it’s been going on, how he feels about the other woman, what he intends to do now that you know. Listen carefully to his answers so you can accurately assess the situation. Then you’ll be able to make a wise decision about what course of action to take. DO NOT CONFRONT YOUR HUSBAND WITHOUT PROOF OF HIS INFIDELITY. To do so will be a colossal waste of time. Unless you can prove he’s been cheating, the information-gathering phase will never get off the ground. If you need proof, there’s a way for you to get it without hiring a detective or buying software or surveillance equipment. "Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs" will help you find all the proof you need using only your eyes and ears, your personal knowledge of your husband, and the information in this book.

5. Don’t waste your time and energy on the other woman.

One of the worst things you can do is become obsessed with the other woman. It’s natural for you to be curious about her, but she’s not worth your time and energy. Repeatedly questioning your husband about her, referring to her or dragging her name into the conversation puts the spotlight on her instead of on the real issues where it belongs. Don’t obsess over the details of what happened between the two them. Concentrate on working things out between the two of you. Do not humiliate or frustrate yourself by calling or confronting the other woman and demanding that she leave your husband alone. She’s not obligated to take orders from you. Harassing her or threatening her will put you on the wrong side of the law. Name-calling, criticizing or belittling the her will only make your husband come to her defense. You’ll be driving them closer together instead of forcing them apart Forget about the other woman and focus your energy and efforts on getting your marriage back on track.

Will you end up sabotaging your marriage or saving it? The final outcome depends on the way you handle things when you first discover your husband’s affair. In the initial stages, you may be unsure exactly what you’re going to do. But at least you know what NOT to do. Whether you stay with your husband or leave him, avoiding these mistakes, leaves the way clear for whatever decision you eventually make.

© 2003 by Ruth Houston

About the Author

Ruth Houston is the author of "Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs." To learn more about her book, sign up for her infidelity newsletter, or receive a FREE Infidelity report and list of 29 Telltale Signs, visit her website at http://www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com or mailto: CheatingSigns@aol.com

1. Your spouse or partner spends excess time on-line. Who doesn’t use a computer today? I know a few people. They are excellent for paying bills, staying in touch with family, friends, customers, finding street locations, and a host of other productive endeavors. We can not live without them and shutter when a lighting storm threaten our usage. Just look at kids and their instant messaging. They will go without dinner just to keep in touch with their circle of friends. Try to pull them away, it’s no easy task. Does your spouse resemble your kid’s magnetism to the computer? Discover why this need is so powerful before it’s too late.

2. Passwords, instant message "buddy lists", internet email accounts and emails are concealed – even protected from you! Do you find your spouse needing his "own space" at the computer? Is there a real reluctance when you ask to know his passwords? What’s there to hide? These questions all have obvious answers. The act of hiding information is deceptive by nature. Of course, those of us who have worked in "Corporate America" understand the need to protect company secrets. But what legitimate "family secret" are we hiding? Listen, any time a spouse becomes secretive with you, it fulfills a direct need they demonstrate. Why? You are like the judge, referee, or source of authority creating that "sense of accountability" over them. Furthermore, they are breaking matrimonial law if committing adultery. There is, in many courts, a price to pay!

3. Computer use after you have gone to bed, when you fall asleep or in the middle of the night. Have you been awaken by the absence of your spouse at night and found him at the computer? If this behavior becomes a pattern you certainly need to be concerned. While work demands a sense of commitment and loyalty, working late repeatedly after you have fallen asleep is a little odd.

4. Your partner abruptly shuts off the internet and/or computer when you approach. This is panic and unexplainable behavior. The rationalization is "when all other contingency plans fail, just shut that thing off and don’t get caught." This foolish act is also called a "computer crash" and has the potential of damaging both hardware and software. The loss of files occurs when a computer is cut off abruptly. Many spouses have reported this behavior just prior to hiring us. We consider it a significant indicator of a deviant behavior. Now, bear in mind your spouse may be viewing pornography and fear reprisal. This may explain the need for panic.

5. The computer and monitor are always positioned away from your sight. The study of body language has become useful to many investigators, especially those of us who administer lie detection examinations. An obvious sign of deception and a common mistake the cheater make is blocking your view. They need the time to clear a screen, turn off the monitor, or change to another internet page when threatened with exposure. Intentionally turning the monitor or laptop away from view is an indicator they don’t want you to see something. Over time this act develops into a habit and confers greater freedom from detection. In most instances, having the lead time to hide the truth from you is all they need.

6. Clears all internet history after chat sessions, usage or installs software to automatically rid this information. There are times when a computer becomes filled with unwanted files. Computers run faster when less "temporary" files use up valuable "ram memory." This is prudent maintenance for any computer user. What I am referring to in this sign is the repeated habit of purposefully clearing information from discovery. While this information is retrievable through the science of Computer Forensics, you won’t find it readily available. On the market now is software that actually helps the cheater. The actual purpose of this new software tool is to hide any trace of computer internet usage. Do you find this a little suspicious? I do.

7. Exhibits a compulsive need to be online and seems defensive when confronted to stop. "When are you coming to bed?" "We really need to go, now, what’s taking so long?" "Can’t you do that later?" Have you asked these types of questions? Teenagers often become "obsessed" with instant messaging. If you have kids who use the computer, you know. They have trouble walking away from the PC. This same desire or need displayed by your spouse is cause for alarm. A compulsive, defensive pattern of behavior shows a strong need to continue. You need to know why.

8. Shares personal information, photos or events with strangers in emails, chatrooms or while instant messaging. Setting up a profile for instant messaging is commonplace. Kids love to fill them up and share with friends on the buddy list. I’ve witnessed spouses who send nude pictures of themselves over the internet. They share very personal information that should be reserved to the marital home. Maybe it’s time to track this information with software that collects this data. Today more courts are allowing emails and computer usage data as evidence. It’s advisable to consult an attorney in your state beforehand!

9. Plays online games and frequents "personals" chatrooms. This is where it starts. Play a few games, win or loss but then we need to chat. Well if chatting is fine, why not include your spouse? You can’t, so why do it?

10. Exhibits the eight warning signs illustrated in "The More You Know — Getting the evidence and support you need to investigate a troubled relationship." Thirty plus years of investigative experience is poured into this new release. It’s a "must have" resource guide for every woman’s personal library.

© 2005 Bill Mitchell All rights reserved.

About the Author

Top Private Investigator Bill Mitchell who recently appeared on the Dr. Phil Show is the author of "The More You Know — Getting the evidence and support you need to investigate a troubled relationship." For more information about the book, infidelity or cheating husbands, visit http://www.themoreyouknowpi.com. To receive a FREE Special Report entitled Emergency Infidelity Survival Plan — Top Fifteen Steps to implement Right Now. If you suspect an affair send an e-mail to mitchellreports@bellsouth.net with "Emergency Plan" in the subject line.