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Actually, it's pretty simple. Deep inside the heart of
every man is a secret wish to be trusted. How many times have men said to their
wives, "If you would just trust me." Many men wonder why it seems so difficult
for their wives to do something so seemingly simple. The answer stems from the
physiological differences between the sexes.
It begins at birth when little boys are given a distinct physical advantage
over little girls by having higher levels of testosterone. With testosterone
comes the physical strength to both defend themselves from danger and/or run
away from a threat. Most little girls don't have that ability. They don't have
the strength to defend themselves in a physically fight when they feel
threatened. If a boy trusts someone who in turn hurts them, they can always
defend themselves physically (or try to). Little girls don't have that physical
option of power. Since a person can only trust from a position of strength,
those same little girls will grow up into women who naturally have a more
difficult time "trusting" when they feel vulnerable.
So men, when you ask the woman of your choice to simply "trust you," it's not
that she can't, she's just more vulnerable than you. If you want her to trust
you, she needs something that will help develop that trust.
Perhaps even a tool or gesture that she can "count on " until that trust with
you is established. Thankfully this tool already exist and is known every
woman. What cultivates trust in a woman is a man who consistently keeps his
word. Making a promise is meaningless if there is no follow through.
A woman needs to SEE her man fulfill his promises because seeing is always more
powerful than hearing. Allow me to illustrate. Imagine someone told you that I
was the meanest person they had ever met. For months all you heard was how
terrible I treated my family and friends. Then one day you met me and during
the course of our meeting you begin to notice that I didn't seem to be as
horrible as you were led to believe. I actually appeared to be rather pleasant.
Would you change your entire opinion about me from one visit? Probably not!
However, if you saw me respond consistently with kindness and humility over a
period of weeks, your opinion of me would begin to change. A paradox has just
been established. The kindness you have seen in me for the last few weeks does
not match what you have heard about me. All the rumors of how mean I am begin
to fade into darkness because of my consistent actions. Over time what you see
will replace most if not all of your concerns about my character.
Men, when the woman you love sees your words lining up with your actions, trust
will naturally follow. When you don't keep your word it causes your
wife/girlfriend to become fearful. From her perspective, she has entrusted you
with her Heart and WANTS to trust you. She simply needs your help in giving you
what you want.
About The Author
Bob Grant is a relationship coach who has just released the book, "The Woman Men
Adore...and Never Want to Leave," which is available at
relationshiphq@aol.com. He is married with a brand new baby
girl!
Reprinted from ArticleCity.com