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You
wake up in the morning, still tired from staying up too late the night before,
and hit snooze about seventeen times before stumbling into the shower. By the
time you start rinsing the shampoo out of your stinging eyes you are already
thinking about everything you have to do today. You put your makeup on in the
car and get to work late as usual in desperate need of a caffeine fix, do
errands at lunch, pick up your dry cleaning before the store closes after what
is most likely another late day in the office, make time for tanning and an
hour at the gym, and get home to a house you have to clean. Every day is almost
the same, you are busting your hump trying to get this and that done while your
list of errands keeps growing. And thanks to living in an exponentially growing
population in an overpopulated city you spend an obnoxious amount of time in
the car giving you more time to think about everything you still need to do. By
the time you get home each day, you clean a little, shovel your special diet
food that you ordered online (who has time to actually shop in a store and
leisurely browse anymore?) which costs a small fortune and tastes like chicken
feed and crawl into bed. Then you stay up late with your mind like a maelstrom
worrying about everything you did not get accomplished. When does anyone have
time for a relationship?
People who live and work in the city without a significant other or children
are always on the go. You might think that a single man or woman lives the life
of leisure: no obligations, no pressure, just complete freedom. And I suppose
that there are plenty of single men and women who just stroll home after work,
order pizza and plant their tushes on the couch to watch their usual prime time
television line up. But these are the people whose tushes are the same size as
the couch. Hey, no ambition, no life. However, these days our lives are getting
busier and busier for most people. There is so much for us to do every day.
Even the singlets of this world are screaming for more time. I seriously wonder
how people are able to raise children today. I know I barely have time for
nookie at the end of the day.
Perhaps it is because many people living in the city go through several stages
of social behaviors and desires in their lives. At first we are the struggling
young professionals straight out of college, accepting a bottom of the food
chain job and struggling on a $20K salary. These were the days of buying raman
noodles in bulk and picking up a bartending job in the evenings. You can't even
afford to date at this age. And if you could, when would you have time? Finally
you get a better paying job and you move up in the business world. But now you
have entered a whole new social world. You are financially able to drop the
second job, get some new digs without holes in the seams and start enjoying the
night scene with everyone else. Swiftly you discover the beau monde and your
life is consumed with keeping up to date with all of the latest trends, making
sure you look perfect in every way and of course making sure everyone thinks
you are the "it" guy or girl. How can you possibly start a relationship now? He
or she might actually find out that your not fabulous. Besides, it is much more
hip to have a new fling every week. This is the period of our lives where we
are all poseurs. After a few years of fun and reckless behavior, you get
promoted to a more prominent position in the business world. Now you realize
your responsibility and you may even take it seriously. Your life might change,
but your busy schedule does not. It just gets worse.
When you actually get involved in that serious relationship, you must devote
time to it. To do so, you have to give up things that you don't necessarily
want to give up. I always believed that we work so that we can have time. We
buy time. We work so that we are able to luxuriate in vacations with our loved
ones and so we can buy expensive lingerie to keep the spark alive. But instead
of spending as much time as we can with our sweethearts, we end up spending our
time washing the car, burning the flab in pilates class, picking up the cat
food and cursing the poor slob who broke down in the middle of a one lane road
during rush hour. We are so greedy and obsessed with our appearance and
materialistic needs that we find it difficult to give our own time, our most
precious commodity, to someone else. Then again, when we daydream about the
kind of future life we want, we envision a life surrounded by family and
friends, a house in the burbs, a loving spouse and children and spending the
days at home being independantly wealthy. We see ourselves doing what we really
want and need: spending time in the arms of our darlings.
For questions and comments contact The Advice Diva at:
thediva@advicediva.com
Please visit http://www.advicediva.com
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