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Spring
is in the air. The whole world comes alive with flowers, new life, new smells,
warm weather and the discernible increase in libido of the singles crowd.
Whether or not there is a direct genetic urge to mate during a specific season,
everyone wants to date more in the spring. More often than not, this is the
time when new love can take a hold of you and before you know it you are
dancing like a cliché through puddles and singing in the rain better than Gene
Kelly. This feeling of utter bliss may cause some of you to even contemplate
the "R" word - a Relationship.
There are so many different levels that the single person may be on in their
life regarding dating and relationships. The level you are on can affect your
level of readiness for a relationship. For example, some singles have been
serial daters for years refusing to enter a real relationship out of fear of
rejection or simply because they love to be single and free of the drama and
anguish which relationships may cause. Some singles have been searching for a
relationship too hard and end up scaring any potential mates away with that
instant cling action. Other single men and women have recently been removed
from a relationship and they are on the rebound. Others still are happy being
single but will gladly enter a relationship if only the perfect specimen would
cross their path. And then of course some of you are thinking, "Well, I've had
my fill of parties, clubbing and one night stands for the past ten years, my
looks are fading, I might as well start the next part of my life, get married
and have kids pretty quick".
Obviously a person needs to be in the right frame of mind and the right part of
life to try and enter a relationship. You should be mature enough and old
enough for a relationship. Your self esteem should be high and you should not
feel as if you need a relationship to make you feel better about yourself. You
should be able to take care of yourself emotionally and financially and not
need to depend on your significant other to take care of you completely. You
should be free from past trauma and hurt. And you should be ready to enter a
relationship only when you feel you have met the right person. Finally, you
should only enter a relationship if you are truly in love. If you do not fill
all of the requirements above, you might want to do a little work on yourself
before focusing on someone else and a relationship. And if you feel that you do
embody the right stuff for a committed relationship, there are even more
factors that you will want to think about.
First of all, you may be ready for a relationship, but is it even worth
entering one at this point? Too many people jump straight into a relationship
just because the other person is attractive and available. After only a week of
dating, you both decide that you are exclusive and in a relationship. Well that
is just plain silly. You are only entering this relationship because you desire
that grounded sense of stability (a noble desire), but you have no idea if you
are even compatible on the most basic level. Later on you break up, just one of
your many relationship upsets, and your self esteem decreases just a tad as you
look back on your history of repeated relationship failures. Obviously, this is
not the way to go. Another issue to consider is if this person feels the same
way about you as you do about him or her. You may desire to enter a
relationship with this person, even though he or she is giving you those wishy
washy mixed signals. Ostensibly you might believe he or she is in love with
you, but your heart tells you different. If you want a successful loving
relationship, you must be absolutely, positively one hundred percent sure that
this person feels the same exact way about you. The relationship must be a
mutual arrangement. It can not be forced or coerced in any way. Forcing a
relationship will usually lead to bitter resentment later on down the road.
As a final note, some relationships do not work even when both partners are
ready and the perfect conditions have been set only because one or both lovers
did not realize that a real relationship needs work and compromise. This
especially relates to the person who has been happily single and dating for
many years. Suddenly, you have rules. You must call and check in every once in
a while, make plans together, watch out not to offend the other and get over
going out with the friends for every weekend, crazy party and holiday like you
used to. This takes a while to get used to and if you are not prepared to make
these sacrifices and compromises, you may just lose one of the best gifts you
can ever receive - life long companionship.
For questions and comments contact The Advice Diva at:
thediva@advicediva.com
Please visit http://www.advicediva.com
for more articles by the Diva