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Breaking up.
The End. The journey is over. You feel rejected. Hopeless. You don't want to go
back in the jungle again. You may even have that dread feeling of failure.
Suddenly, all the love songs at the radio seemed to have been written for you.
You want to stay in bed. Shut all the doors and the windows. Bring the kids to
your relatives for a while. You don't feel like talking to anybody now. You
swear to yourself that you will never get involved with someone again, half
believing it.
Life is much more exciting than that. Besides, you are not the last and only
person experiencing a separation. And, it might not be your last breakup
either. With the proper mental tools, break ups could be less painful.
Breaking up, I prefer to call it an opportunity for a change of habits. It's
like having an addiction and you need to cut yourself from it. It's painful but
necessary. The good news about it is that it doesn't need to be Hell on Earth.
There are effective ways to go through this process with smooth sailing.
First, you absolutely need to stop thinking of the great moments that you had
together. Chances are that those moments happened a long time ago, not to
mention, not that often either. Keep in mind the reasons of your break up,
until your mind is in sync with your heart. And don't keep in touch with that
person for now, if you can. Or reduce the frequency of contacts at its bare
minimum.
Write a letter
You need to let the emotions out. Write everything that frustrates you, made
you angry, sad, etc... You don't necessarily need to send it to your previous
partner but at least, this is a proven healing process for you to calm the
storm inside. You can choose to keep it somewhere to read for yourself later,
when the healing process will be over. You might discover some strength that
you are not aware about you.
Make new friends
You need to socialize more the ever. How do you do that? Go to fairs, reading
clubs, sports clubs, art clubs, etc... ask questions, make conversations, and
exchange phone numbers with people to do activities and keep in touch. Offer to
help with something. Friends come fast like that. Don't jump into another
relationship to avoid facing your feelings of emptiness. Chances are that there
will be other disappointments. You need to finish the process of unblocking all
of your emotions to freely open your heart again to someone else, and increase
the chances of success.
Pamper yourself. Treat yourself.
Take naps in the Sun. Get a pedicure. A great massage. Read the bible. Read
inspiring texts that will give you strength ( Like the book "Chicken soup for
Soul").
Go jogging. Do some Yoga. Listen to Jazz music. Eat well. Go pick apples with
the kids. You know what I mean; do all the activities that help put your soul
to calm.
Stay away from unsupportive people
Neutralized your mind and heart from some comments of your family and friends.
I am sure that they really want your good. But they maybe are a little bit ....
"clumsy" in the way they express their caring for you " When are you going the
get married? You can't go from people to people like that! You are getting old,
you know?" or " There are other people you know; 1 lost, 10 found!" (I hate
that one). Hang out with people who are taking your mind off things, who
understands and gives you the support that you need. I remember reading this
about hardships that " It is not only time that heals the heart, but also all
the warmth and love around us."
Get a pet
When I broke up with my last boyfriend, I got a cat. He was so tiny and
requested so much of my attention that it fulfilled my need to feel wanted. A
pet doesn't replace the love and attention that a boyfriend or girlfriend can
give, but, it's all part of the process of having a full life. So get a dog, a
cat, a turtle, whatever provides that added value in your life.
Find at least 3 passions
You will need to get all the strength that you can possibly have to open your
heart to fun. Fill your life to the fullest with different passions. Take
cooking lessons, take a gold lesson, try other sports, and try painting, other
arts, and hobbies of some kind. Learning a new thing will keep your mind busy,
you will have a new skill and will feel good about yourself and, you will be
more interesting for a future mate.
One of my friends was single for at least 2 years. She decided to join a
badminton club. The first semester, nobody was really interesting for her. In
the second semester, there was still no new blood coming. But she still
subscribed because she enjoyed the activity so much. The third semester, this
dark handsome policeman join the league and it didn't take long before they
hooked up. And today, they share, among other things, this passion. It's an
opportunity to have fun together and to be together.
Date again
Yes! You read right! Date again! Jump right back on the Horse again! You need
to rebuild your self-esteem and being in situations where people from the
opposite sex find you interesting will prevent that you go down into that
whole. You don't need to get deeply emotionally involved. Date to have fun.
Keep the relationships light and simple. Where do you find those people? Go on
dating sites, classifieds, friends, and acquaintances. Since you are not out to
find a husband and wife yet, you won't be threatening.
Get to the stage of feeling great being single
Take the time to Truly feel fulfilled in a single life. This is a powerful way
to find true love because if you are having a great life alone, you will be
willing give up your exciting single lifestyle for the person that is really
worth it.
Be and feel successful
And if you are out for revenge the greatest revenge of all is Success. Take
this opportunity to develop your personality even more. Your children, if you
have, will be proud of you and people around you will admire your strength and
more opportunities will occur.
If you were to consider coming back with your partner, start considering it not
before 6 months to a year after the break up. This has given time to you and
your partner to reflect on your mutual faults and strengths, and to heal.
Experiencing loss is a difficult moment of our life to pass. But you can take
this opportunity to prove to yourself, once again, how much of a winner you
are; take this opportunity to transform yourself even more. If you transform
your life while you are not in a relationship, with a partner, you will collect
the fruits of these initiatives.
The most important thing: laugh, laugh, and laugh. Laugh at every opportunity
that life gives you. Feel good and be happy.
Wishing you great success in finding happiness again.
About the Author
Who is Caroline? She is a growing expert on love, relationship, romance because
she is reading a lot on the subject. She is presently in a fulfilling
relationship and she is gladly sharing her knowledge and experience. To
continue receiving tips on how to get the love life that you want, you can
subscribe free to her newsletter at
http://www.everydaybetterliving.com
info@everydaybetterliving.com
Reprinted from ArticleCity.com