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Ending a relationship is never easy. When you feel you must end a relationship
most people find it challenging as they have feelings towards their partner and
do not wish to hurt them.
More often than not, breaking up is as hard on the person ending the
relationship as it is on the person being broken up with. Realize that a person
is breaking up has nothing to do with caring about another person. Caring about
somebody and wanting a relationship are not the same.
The majority of people on this planet do not like to hurt others, especially
somebody they have been close to. Guilt has been used more often than not to
keep relationships together. Fight this urge and believe in yourself.! When you
allow guilt as a way to stop a break up you not only cheat yourself out of
having a good and true relationship, you'll foster resentment towards the other
person which could lead to greater pain and heart ache in the future. Why would
you want to be with somebody who makes you feel bad by allowing you to feel
guilty? Respect yourself!!.
A man should exit gracefully by planning the break up, to minimize the grief
caused to his partner
Don't just ignore her hoping she will notice and go away. You might have
learned a little bit about push /pull as a term we use in seduction. That only
tends to bring somebody in closer. Which is the exact opposite of what you
want.
The I think you're a great girl and I don't deserve you line will seem ok to
her at first, but later on she will start to resent that. She could also go
into how you DO deserve her and try to convince you.
Honesty really is the best policy. Treating the relationship, and the person,
with respect and dignity helps soften the blow.
When you break up, Do it in person. Show some integrity and sincerity to tell
her that the relationship isn't going anywhere. In our workshops we teach how
verbal communication is only 7% of the total communication between people. If
she also sees closed off body language it will be easier for closure for her
eventually.
Telling somebody you are breaking up in person is never easy, but you owe it to
her to break the news to her personally. This means not on the phone,
definitely not over e-mail, but rather, face to face where she can get eye
contact and read your body language. The universal line of " we need to talk."
should be given in advance. This allows her to prepare for what is coming and
helps soften the blow a little bit. Do not put too much time between the "We
need to talk" and actual breakup as the waiting time in between is very
uncomfortable if delayed long.
On doing some research on this I read a suggestion about breaking up in the
exact same place you met if possible. This is to suggest that the relationship
has completed a circle. A place where she has a lot of happy memories might
help neutralize some of the new sad ones.
Ending a relationship gracefully means speaking our piece without blame or
judgment and not taking responsibility for another's feelings. It is important
to make eye contact,and give body language that is open while you are
communicating (which suggests you are VERY open to what you are saying) than
give closed off body language after finishing your piece. To suggest you are
not open to hearing anything else. Say your words sincerely, leave no room for
doubt, and never back down- especially when she starts to cry and you feel
horrible.
Than give that person some space usually a few months at least. Do not try to
get cozy with the person as this can really mess with somebody's head a lot as
they will use this as hope that you are getting back together. This is the only
way to keep pain to a minimum when ending a relationship.
About the Author
Robert Torrey is one of the Date Doctor Coaches for Fidentia a company that
teaches dating confidence to men in workshops.
Http://www.badboycoaching.com for more info.