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That's fine but if you really believe you only have one soul mate, you are
probably going to miss out on many opportunities for intimacy and personal
fulfillment. Although the term soulmate can mean different things to different
people, I am of the opinion that for most of us, we have multiple soulmates.
People with whom we share enough common belief and conviction that our souls
are mated by our faith and love.
Many people make the mistake of seeking out a mate before they take the crucial
step of knowing themselves. If I were to guess, the one main reason people's
relationships fail is that they fail to get to know themselves first. Consider
how difficult it will be to reveal personal intimate knowledge of oneself if
you are not even sure who you are. Don't try to find intimacy until you are
prepared to give it. In other words, until you know yourself well enough to
accurately describe who you are in plain and simple terms, you can't really
expect to share intimacy with another.
Know yourself, your limitations, your weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, what
you can tolerate and what you can't first. Then when you meet potential
partners, you will have no trouble helping them to know you and you will be
able to get to know them as well.
Intimacy Is A Shared Experience
True intimacy is based entirely on honesty, forthrightness, and sharing. Unless
you are willing to risk being hurt and revealing yourself to another you are
not ready to share intimacy. And intimacy is a shared experience. It is the
experience and process of knowing and being known by another. Sounds like it
takes some effort right? Well it does.
It takes a personal commitment to being honest about how you feel and what you
think, even if people don't always understand it completely. It also takes a
similar commitment from your significant other. Unless both partners are
committed to complete honesty and forthrightness about feelings, thoughts,
experiences, perceptions, and beliefs, intimacy cannot grow into a mature
understanding and knowledge.
So many people find themselves hurt in relationships when they feel as if they
have given everything they could and it still does not result in the closeness
and intimacy they desire. Sometimes, its not even their fault entirely.
Sometimes they choose to give everything but their true self, trying so hard to
please the other person but not really expressing themselves honestly.
Sometimes, they choose to give intimacy to someone who is not capable or
desirous of giving it back on the same level. Needless to say, such a one way
commitment is not going to result in the closeness and intimacy they desire,
but it is not necessarily their fault.
Persistence and Practice Do Pay Off
So you have had your heart broken? You have given all you have and it still fell
apart. Don't be discouraged. Don't make the mistake so many people make and
retreat into a shell. Don't tell yourself, "that is it, I am never going to try
again". That is the worst mistake anyone can make when they are pursuing
personal fulfilment and intimacy.
Consider how impossible it will become to actually meet someone and share
intimacy with them if you have previously decided that you will never again
take the chance. It is my belief that sometimes people get hurt when they are
young and close themselves off to intimacy trying to protect their feelings and
then actually forget that they made this decision.
Then as the years pass and they find themselves alone, they wonder why. Despite
the fact that at some point in their past they decided to close themselves off.
Sound familiar? Well, the good news is that it is never to late to try again.
But not with the same attitude obviously. If you want true intimacy you will
take another chance and another until you find what you want.
Hopefully, this time you will take a little time to find out who you are and how
best to communicate this. Then make the personal commitment to always be honest
about what you need, what you want, and to comunicate this openly without games
or riddles.
For more Free Advice and Resources on Creating Happier and More Fulfilling
Personal Intmate Relationships, Please Visit
http://www.intimacyadvisor.bravehost.com