|
|
|
|
Latest Articles
 |
Emotional
infidelity is the new fad among married couples. Almost every American home has
at least two computers making it easier than ever to do whatever you want
online without your spouse ever knowing about it. It's cheap, it's easy, and
it's fun! You can sit down for ten minutes and learn more about someone online
than you ever could meeting with them in person in that same amount of time.
The sharing of personal information with strangers online is thrown around
loosely all over the Internet. And this new craze is at its peak with married
women and men sharing their personal and intimate details with the opposite
sex, on chat boards, personal spaces, porn sites, message boards, and forums
that anyone can become a member in.
Emotional infidelity is just kind way of saying, "online dating". Is your spouse
dating someone online? How would you know? Is online dating a smart thing to
do? Some people believe there is no harm in it since it doesn't actually
involve having sex with the person. Online dating has been played down by
society just like the commitment and promise of marriage has.
Emotional infidelity is disloyalty to ones spouse in a different way other than
in a sexual way, that's all. Sex isn't everything in a marriage, right?
Intimacy plays a big part in marriage, doesn't it? How would you feel if your
wife were getting intimate with another man online, would you like it? What if
your husband were divulging his personal feelings and sexual needs to another
woman would you like it? This is online dating.
I think it is very detrimental to both husband and wife in the marriage. Not
only can a simple chat get carried away and turn into sex eventually, but the
wrongdoer is ultimately breaking the bonds of trust with their spouse by
revealing personal and sacred information about himself that ultimately belongs
within the marriage!
Emotional unfaithfulness can hurt just as deeply as physical unfaithfulness, and
sometimes, even more. There is definitely something wrong in the marriage when
one or both spouses are going outside of the marriage for love and acceptance.
This is what all infidelity between couples is all about. It's about the need
for acceptance.
When we are not getting our emotional needs met in the marriage, we seek it from
someone who will give it to us. We want to feel good about who we are. We want
to be loved and acknowledged for who we are. We want validated and needed. We
want to be told that we are good people. If those needs aren't getting met
through the person we married, what do we do? Where do we turn? We go online
and find someone who will give all of those needs to us.
It is like an alcoholic who craves a drink. He'll do just about anything to get
that drink, hurting others in the process. Eventually, he'll get that drink and
he'll drink it down and like it so much, he'll want more.
Married couples are literally craving attention, emotionally, spiritually and
mentally, and there are plenty of strangers who will fulfill those needs right
online. We can even make them give us all the attention we think we deserve by
lying to them. We can tell them how rotten and mean our spouse is, so they will
feel sorry for us. We can even tell them we are divorced when really we're
still married.
Online dating is not good for marriage. It is not good for a single young woman
looking for a man. And it is not good for the teenage girl looking for
acceptance and love. Anything can be said and anything can be believed. How
sad. Emotional infidelity is just as harmful as physical infidelity. I suggest
that if you are involved with someone emotionally to cut it off before it gets
out of hand and leads to something more detrimental to the sanctity of your
marriage.
Talk to your spouse. Tell your spouse what you need and want. Tell them you want
to be respected and loved for who you are. Don't be afraid to express your true
feelings to your spouse. They need and want this from you. You will be
pleasantly surprised how understanding and tolerable they will be when they see
that you love them enough to share your feelings with them
Go to your wife! Express yourself positively and productively. It doesn't matter
what you tell her, it matters how you tell her. Give your wife that piece of
your heart that really tells her how much you trust her, need her and want her.
Go to your husband! Share your inner most feelings with him and tell him you
need his loving devotion and attention. Get intimate with your husband by
sharing your heart and mind with him. What can this do for you? It frees your
mind of wasted clutter that needs to come out into the open. Communicate your
wants, desires and needs with your spouse. It will make you feel closer because
you shared an intimate piece of yourself with them.
About the Author
Angie
Lewis is the author of two marriage books. Journey on the Roads Less Traveled
is a book about love, life, addiction and marriage. Love The Man You Married is
an informative and biblically centered book tackling such issues as adultery
and learning to completely forgive your spouse.
For more information on these books, visit Angie's marriage ministry at
http://www.heavenministries.com
and while you're there, sign up for the monthly marriage newsletter.