|
|
|
|
Latest Articles
 |
A lot of people are starting to wonder why dating in the big city has suddenly
become such a perplexing and complicated experience. And when, exactly, did
this happen? The dating scene has always been a little troublesome for some
people and could even feel like more of a chore than what should be a fun time.
But lately the single jungle of Houston and other large cities are changing and
evolving into more complex designs of mass confusion. We seem to be moving
faster and faster into complete chaos rather than assimilating into the well
preserved roles that our mothers and fathers laid out for us.
Gender roles are changing and this is the basic concept that is generally
holding many of us back from entering successful relationships. More and more
people are remaining single for longer periods of time. Part of this is because
we are finding it difficult to accept and understand the new gender roles of
our mates, even if we, ourselves, are holding to those new standards.
The roles of women have gone through the most dramatic changes. They have
changed more in the last two generations than in the last two millenniums. Due
to mass media, urbanization and politics, women have achieved equality to men
in education and the workplace and everywhere else you look. And thanks to the
sexual revolution, we have freed our minds. Women are now able to support
themselves and raise their own children without the help of a man, thus
escaping the traditional role of "mother" and "wife". Our new found
independence is something we fear giving back. The independent woman does not
want to be controlled or told what to do. She will never again be the docile
little lamb once sought after for marrying purposes.
This change in the lives of women in large cities has led to a second major
change, this one in men. Men have moved from being the gruff, rugged males to
becoming "metrosexual" (a term coined by gay journalist Mark Simpson). Men have
started to take over some of the duties that women had always controlled. There
are women working alongside these men in the office. And thanks to sexually
homogenous advertising, the meterosexual has been created. This new male breed
has matching ensembles for every occasion, never has a bad hair day, loves
manicures and smells like roses. He has no problem shopping, attending the
opera and buying new shoes. The metrosexual is completely in touch with his
feminine side but there is just one thing: he is straight.
Suddenly, the roles that we are used to having our mates fill are no longer
being filled. The metrosexual is now asking why he has to pay for every date,
open doors and pick a woman up at her door since the women are now so
independent and financially equal. Yet these men still secretly yearn for that
woman who will do the housework and raise the children just like mom did. The
independent woman has become too afraid to give back that independence she
worked so hard for only to begin relying more on a man than herself. Why should
she when the danger still lies of being tossed aside one day? Yet, in her
heart, she also desires the manly man who will sweep her off of her feet and
take away all of her problems, just like her daddy once did.
We have now entered what appears to be a never ending cycle that can only be
broken by trust. The once praised nuclear family with the hard working father
and stay at home mother is slowly dissipating. From now on, men and women will
be taking on more equal roles in relationships and families. The question is:
when will we become comfortable enough to let it happen?
For questions and comments contact The Advice Diva at the
diva@advicediva.com. Please visit
http://www.advicediva.com for more articles by the Diva.