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The first date: what to wear, where to go, what to say, what to do and what not
to do. All this pressure to make a good first impression can be daunting. After
all, you know practically nothing about each other and the whole point of a
first date is to judge (as much as we don't like to admit it) whether or not we
think we'd like to get to know each other better. But first dates don't have to
be elaborate or fancy in order for you to secure that coveted second or third
date. There are some things you will want to do and others you will want to
avoid on a first date to ensure its success and the possibility of future dates
as well.
When it comes to dating, it seems everyone thinks they're the expert to turn to
for advice. Whether it's your friends or your lovable aunts who constantly
inquire about your love life, everyone has a dating tip for you. But we all
know what to do on a date, don't we? Always have a smile, listen attentively,
be yourself, have fun, and the list goes on. So, if everyone knows the tips for
successful dating, then why do we go through so much trouble and anxiety about
first dates? Maybe it's because there is no set standard of rules anymore.
Once upon a time, chivalry was the norm. Nowadays, some women get offended when
the door is held open or their seat is pulled out for them. Consequently, many
single people are at a loss when it comes to knowing what to do and when to do
it. And while there may not be an ultimate list of shoulds and should nots,
there are still some common dating tips that everyone can agree on.
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It is important to be attentive to your date and this includes listening to
what they are saying (and maybe throwing in a question or two) and maintaining
eye contact when in a conversation.
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There is nothing worse than meeting your date and not knowing what you're going
to do. If you have something planned ahead of time, it shows you put some
thought into it.
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If you go out for dinner, why not split the bill? Sure, you were invited out
and your date is expected to pay but offer anyway. And if your date picks up
the tab, offer to pay the next time.
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By all means, call your date if you say you're going to call! If you didn't
have a good time then be courteous, and don't promise to get in touch when you
really have no intention of doing so.
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Be polite; turn off your cell phone and stop the wandering eyes. There is
nothing ruder than taking a casual call from a friend or ogling the waitress at
the next table while your date is attempting to hold your attention.
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While talking about past relationships almost always comes up in conversation,
don't start telling your date every last detail; they are not your therapist!
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And believe me, chivalry is not dead; women do appreciate it, just don't overdo
it boys.
In this world of women's independence, many are taking it upon themselves to
ask the man out. And why not?! It shows confidence and is a turn-on for many
men. Keep in mind though, confidence is sexy, arrogance is a turn off.
Many people will have a different answer when you ask them their opinion on
whether or not a kiss is acceptable on the first date. Maybe all you want to do
is hold hands or snuggle and save the kiss for another date. It all depends on
the chemistry between you and whether or not it feels right. And if it does,
then go for it. Of course, if the date isn't going well, feel free to end the
date early with everyone's favorite backup "emergency" phone call from a
friend. Chances are if you're not having a good time, neither is your date!
Hopefully, this has broadened your outlook on the world of "first dates". The
whole point of a first date is to figure out if you want to get to know the
person better. Remember, when it comes to dating and tips, just follow your
instinct and no matter the outcome, have fun, enjoy yourself, and relax.
About the Author
Marisa Pellegrino is freelance journalist and a writer for a Montreal radio show
called Passion, a program about dating, relationships, and sex. She is also the
writer/webmaster for
Dating Ideas (www.dating-idea.com)
a website with advice about dating and relationships.